Persuasive paragraph

I've been talking a lot about ancient China; but what about current China? One matter that needs addressing in current China is workers righs. Workers' rights in china must be improved. One condition is work hours. Working conditions in China now are apalling. People,often 14 year old girls, are working twelve hours a day Seven days a week. Workers also work overtime without extra pay. This is is not only unjust, but also unhealthy. What would be more fare is to lower the work hours and pay overtime not only would this make the workers happier, but when they worked they would be more alert focused and productive. Another serious issue is the fining of workers who come to work tired or break curfew. The average monthly salary in 2006 was about 853 yuan in US dollars it would be 125 dollars a month combined with fines this could be lowerd significantly. Companies should abolish fining. First of all when companies fine workers for disobeying then people can't do what they wan't and therefor there lives are completly controled by the companies they work for. Second of all people can get fined out of an entire salary. And when pay day arives they get nothing, making there work slave labor and making it illegal. And finally companies hold back pay for months at a time forcing employies too stay as long as possible.This can't continue because it's almost like owning someone. Improving chinas work laws would make this illegal ending Sweatshops grip over china's workers. The people most to blame are those who proffit off this. Like the Owners of the factories, and the big corporations who proffit off of the labor.